Saturday, July 12, 2014

How to Stop Your Self-help Book Addiction in 12 Easy Steps

   Here is an outline on my forthcoming book: How to Stop Your Self-Help Book Addiction in 12 Easy Steps

Chapter 1: Get off your lazy butt
   You’re not going to take that next step toward self-actualization sitting on the couch eating Twinkies and watching Dr. Phil. Or reading this book for that matter.

Chapter 2: It’s your own fault
   The economy sucks? The man wants to keep you down? You can’t express your true worth on a resume? But if that’s your excuse for sitting in your parent’s basement playing Halo with your e-buddies, maybe the person to blame is closer than you think. Maybe you should go out and get a job.

Chapter 3: Common Sense—Use your own for a change
   The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey

      1.       Be Proactive
      2.       Begin with the end in mind
      3.       Put first things first
      4.       Think win-win
      5.       Seek first to understand, and then to be understood
      6.       (Random buzz word)
      7.       One more habit because The 6 Habits of Highly Effective People doesn’t sound as good

   When you read that you think “yeah” and “yeah” and “wow that makes so much sense!” You know why? Because it’s what most people call common sense. Try it sometime. But maybe you should try this in baby-steps, because let’s face it, you are reading a self-help book on how to stop buying self-help books. That’s like buying a pack of cigarettes to help you stop smoking. (Okay, that might work if the cigarettes explode.)

Chapter 4: Don’t take yourself so seriously. 
   Believe me, I can’t take you seriously. Not after you bought this stupid book.

Chapter 5: Why don’t you try working? 
   So you still haven’t won the lottery? Maybe you need to look at your financial plan again. And writing a 2000 word “novel” and putting it on sale at Smashwords for $21.99 isn’t a plan. Success takes hard work. If you don’t want to work hard, learn to accept mediocrity.

Chapter 6: Okay, I don’t have 12 steps:
   So sue me. There are a lot of people out there willing to say anything to get a buck off you. I’m one of them.

   If you have more chapter topics let me know. I’d love to steal...I mean...hear them.

   I do hope people realize when I'm kidding...