Coloradans cringe when they hear it. A passing conversation
in an airport terminal; a couple discussing plans in a restaurant; the tourists
chattering about the great adventures they’ve had. The southern accent. And
then comes the infamous corruption of their beloved state’s name: Colorada.
They grit their teeth and ignore it, but what they really
want to do is get in the offender’s face and shout “Col-uh-rad-OHHHHH!”
Of course the southerner doesn’t realize he’s offended
anyone. Most of the states down south end with an “A”, so putting an A on the
end of a state’s name is as natural as putting a dab of butter on grits.
Still, it would be nice if it were possible to get the
message across that the mispronunciation is not appreciated. Perhaps Coloradans
should engage in a little tit-for-tat. “You put an ‘A’ at the end of my state,”
they might say, “and I’ll put an ‘O’ on the end of your state.”
Alabamo. Florido. North and South Carolino. Virginio.
Louisiano. Georgio. Oklahomo.
That’s right—Okla-homo.
Yeah, y’all hear that? Don’t like it much when the tables
are turned, do you?
But, you may ask, what about those southern states that don’t
end with an ‘A’. Certainly those Texans are among the worst Colorada offenders. How do the Coloradans
get back at them?
Easy. Same solution. Add an ‘O’.
Texaso. To fully appreciate this you may need to say it out
loud. Tex-as-o
Oh don’t get all riled up about this. I’m just having fun. I
consider myself an impartial observer, having lived in Colorada, Oklahomo,
Virginio and Mississippo. And, for several years, I was a Texasoian and I must
admit it is a great state.
In conclusion, and in the interest of making sure no one
feels left out, let me say a few more things:
Kentucko.
Tennesseo.
Orkansas. (Bet you didn’t see that coming.)
